Esports Coaching for Teens

In my previous articles on this topic, I walked my way through coaching two grades at a time. I started with younger children because we frequently saw these kids enrolled in introductory or opening programs. The operative word in the Aspen study finding that by 11, 70% of kids are falling out team sports is “by”. That is right, not “at” but “BY” eleven years old. That means kids were falling out across a wide range of ages.

When children reach high school (and we’ll include the 8th grade in this mix) — a lot changes. When kids are younger, parents continually provide opportunities for their children to participate in all sorts of activities. Whether it is music, acting, art, or sports, in parents can find (and pay) for their child to pursue their interests.

When they reach high school however, the child typically must convince and adult (a coach, or teacher) that they have what it takes to play. When I coached baseball, I tried to help parents through this transition. Many parents feel powerless as suddenly their opinions no longer matter. And neither does their wallet. Their children have the sole responsibility of convincing a gate keeper to invest in them. The school districts (even if they charge uniform fees and such) have invested in facilities, and coach salaries. Someone besides the family is now spending money so children can play, and those institutions have limited resources. They needed some criteria to determine which players are chosen to participate. A few schools have decided to go to the “no cut” route. While this can solve one tiny problem (everyone makes the team), it completely fails to solve the real problem. Traditional sports, like soccer, only allow a finite number of players on the field at any one time. It is not enough to be on the team. Players actually want to play. And it is the adult coach who decides who gets to play.

What does this mean for players?

The impact for the players who wanted to play in a program was that they now must take (for them) unprecedented responsibility for their performance. Coaches expected their players (not parents) to advocate for themselves, preferably through action. Coaches understood there is a very unfair power balance between themselves and the player. If the Coach was mature enough, they could use this as an opportunity to help the player develop as a person. If the Coach never had instruction, or a good role model, they would simply use the power dynamic to try and gain even more control over the players. Either way, the players must begin to learn how to manage “up” as we say in the corporate world and they are going to start to learn how to engage with people who hold authority over something important to them. Not all players could handle this transition gracefully. Not all parents handle it well either. I was shocked when I first found the animosity and discontent that existed for most parents of high school athletes at the varsity level. Even the families who regularly received playing time found it stressful.

Impact on Coaching

The coaches I know found this dynamic frustrating. The stress could super charge nearly any conversation. And that is why I wanted to share these four principles which I expanded upon in future articles. The first set of principles I touched on had to do with the emotional texture of coaching. Young kids picked up on adults’ moods like you can’t believe.

To recap, cultivating the following attitudes could help when coaching kids (of any age):

1. Be calm, centered, and grounded.
2. Coach wholeheartedly.
3. Be humble, patient, and self-disciplined.

These “strives” are inward focused. Call them characteristics if you will. They are attitudes to try and master. The next set of principles however, focus on external action. We talked about how you manage. These principles were based not only upon timeless ideals, but also stoic philosophy and modern positive psychology. According to Jungian analyst and metaphysics theologian Robert Moore[1], all human beings have contained within their psyche four archetypes. That might sound pretty technical but what meant is that we all have four fundamental models of behavior. Our job is to balance those modes and try and become a fully “integrated person.” Carl Jung argued this was the responsibility for every person.

I brought this up because for young people, the Coach is the bridge from where they are to where they want to be, not only as players but as adults as well. Understanding the balance of behaviors can help you shape your coaching and your program. If we want to help people grow up to be healthy, emotionally resilient, and prepared to have a bright future, then working from balanced fundamentals is a pretty good start.

The Four Principles of External Action

The four principles were articulated in a very specific way because they are tied to very specific attitudes and orientations. They were designed not to be a formula, but more four compass points, or think of them as four ropes pulling on you. If they pull with equal force, you will be balanced. If one or two begins to dominate you will become unbalanced. Because they are, in a way, are qualitative objectives (I think of them as ideals) you can always improve. There is no getting them perfect, only trying to improve. The four principles are:

1. Seek Right Action
2. Act with compassion
3. Be a source of comfort and inspiration
4. Work toward promoting mutual respect

These might seem a little stiff, especially the first one, but trust me, I will dig into it and help you make more sense of it. Some of the things you might expect to find on a list like this are actually encapsulated in these principles in unexpected and surprising ways.

Next week we start by looking at “seeking right action”. Believe it or not we’re going to cover a lot of ground on that one. It should be fun. See you next week.